Fic: "Something Wrong in the Stars" [R - Dean/Castiel]

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May. 2nd, 2011 | 05:20 pm
mood: mellow mellow
location: Canada, Toronto
music: Raphael Saadiq - Just Don't


TITLE: “Something Wrong in the Stars”
AUTHOR: [livejournal.com profile] nanoochka
RATING: A mild R for sexuality
PAIRING: Dean/Cas
SPOILERS: 6.19
WARNINGS: None
WORDCOUNT: 1,092
SUMMARY: Some questions best remain unanswered.
DISCLAIMER: Supernatural and all associated content is property of The CW and Eric Kripke. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This came to me in a dream last night and took 20 minutes to write. I’m not even joking. This is either a coda to 6.19 or a prequel to 6.20, depending on how you look at it. Dedicated to the lovely, inestimable [livejournal.com profile] nyoka for the wonderful and heart-warming encouragement for both my [livejournal.com profile] spn_j2_bigbang draft and my writing in general, even though she could write poetry in her sleep. <3


“Something Wrong in the Stars” by [livejournal.com profile] nanoochka


     Dean takes the long way home, finds every possible detour between the bar and the motel where Sam waits for their dinner and, probably, more of the foul mood he’s suffered from Dean since Grants Pass. It’s easy to get lost in the backwoods of Washington, meandering through the mountains and fields that stretch for unfathomable distances in the dark. The food will be cold when he returns, Dean knows, and likely to incur Sam’s exasperation, but he drives and drives until the arm of the gas gauge tells him to turn back, the threat of an empty tank on the return trip. He does, belatedly, but not without first stopping the car on a quiet stretch of road that overlooks a lake, its inky waters glittering obsidian and silver in the moonlight.

     This will only take a second, he thinks—one question, one answer. That’s all. He just needs to know.

     Climbing out of the car to rest against the Impala’s hood, Dean clenches his fingers against the residual cold of the springtime night, tilts his head towards the sky with eyes closed. He doesn’t even have to say it anymore; a thought is all it takes, if that, and then the sharp flutter of wings pushes the brisk air against his face like a lover’s aborted slap.

     “Dean.” The greeting comes in the same quiet voice as always, though Dean doesn’t open his eyes until he feels the soft pressure of a hand against his, clenching once before disappearing. Castiel comes to stand beside him as naturally as a couple of soldiers lined up for battle, resting against the Impala in a perfect mirror of Dean’s own posture. His throat clicks, swallows dry and telling, and Dean lowers his gaze to find Cas watching him, silent and concerned.

     “I know you’re busy,” he says. “This won’t take long. I just have one thing to ask and thought I should do it in person. Without Sam or Bobby around.”

     The tilt of Castiel’s head is encouragement for Dean to continue, his eyes warm and open in a way that Dean doesn’t often see these days. It is a look, he knows, that is just for him, and him alone. But it’s the return of that palm over his that stops the question from emerging, confuses not only Dean’s resolve to say, simply and without fuss, Did you know Crowley was still alive?, but also his certainty that Cas wishes to hear him speak at all. That should tell him something in and of itself, he thinks; and yet he doesn’t know whether to take it as an admission of guilt, or silent chastisement that he entertained the thought to begin with.

     Dean says, “Cas—” and falters again, turns his head away to focus his attention on the far-off mountains instead, but fingers against his chin guide him back to where he belongs. Cas is suddenly standing right in front of him; too close, naturally, still gripping Dean’s hand. He leans in to press their mouths together in a chaste kiss that briefly teeters towards something more, and for a moment Dean is so distracted he almost forgets his original purpose for coming here.

     At any rate, he is surprised enough to put it aside, though he has every intention of returning back to it in a second. “What was that for?” he asks, once Castiel has pulled away. At such close range his features are indistinct and shadowy, his breath sweet.

     “Nothing,” answers Cas. “We rarely have time alone anymore, and I thought to enjoy the opportunity.”

     Nuzzling closer, hesitant, he plays Dean’s uncertainty with fingers against the waistband of his jeans, makes a quiet noise of approval when Dean’s resolve cracks and he finds that mouth again. Dean snakes out a hand to pull Castiel closer by the end of his tie. They kiss slow and unhurried, tongues flickering, so different from the frantic embraces with which they content themselves when free of Bobby or Sam for ten minutes.

     The question reasserts itself when Castiel grazes the edge of Dean’s jaw with his teeth, scraping over stubble and pulling a gasp free of Dean’s mouth that darkens to a groan. His head tilts back in wordless invitation. Cas is the only one who can make him like this, helpless and mute, focused and totally aimless all at once. As the kisses continue along his throat, Dean slides his fingers beneath Castiel’s trenchcoat and feels an utter coward for such easy acquiescence.

     “This isn’t why I called you here, man,” he moans, but Castiel cuts him off with another insistent kiss, breath growing loud and impatient. Dean lets it go.

     Hands drift beneath the soft cotton of his T-shirt, count his ribs one by one, and with the gentlest of tugs at Dean’s nipples, Castiel sinks easily to his knees in the dirt, dark hair silver-tipped like the waters nearby when Dean’s eyes drift halfway closed, an earthbound siren. A sigh curls past his lips as Cas pulls open his jeans and gets the whole tangle of clothing down to mid-thigh, leaning in to take Dean’s stiffening cock between his lips without so much as a by-your-leave. Dean bucks, undone, and flings his head back to meet the hood with a bang while Castiel’s tongue works him fast and dangerous. When he comes, eyes open at the sky, all he can see are stars.

     Later, he accepts a parting kiss from Castiel while he is still adjusting the rest of their clothing, boots lost somewhere in the front of the car from when they moved inside, escaped the cold so that Cas could lay Dean out nice and open against the vinyl seat. He isn’t offended that Cas can’t stay, recognized the look of him being called away as soon as the frown touched his mouth and his blue eyes went cloudy and distant.

     Castiel says, “Goodbye, Dean,” in a low whisper, kisses him one last time, and Dean releases him without another word. But he can’t help the quiet curse that escapes him as soon as he’s alone again, brought back to earth by the chill of bodily fluids drying on his skin, a kiss-swollen mouth and the smell of cooling food in the passenger seat.

     He has one question that still hasn’t been asked, knows in the pit of his stomach that this is how Castiel wanted it. Knows, from the dread heavy against his chest, that he has his answer, unspoken, but an answer all the same.


Fin
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Comments {56}

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] mclachlan.livejournal.com
date: May. 2nd, 2011 09:32 pm (UTC)
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Oh my god, this was the most fucking perfect coda ever.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:21 pm (UTC)
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*blushes* Wow, thanks. I'm glad that I for once didn't wake up trying to dismiss my dreams as utter rubbish.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] aerilex.livejournal.com
date: May. 2nd, 2011 09:35 pm (UTC)
Link

That was amazingly hot and bittersweet at the same time. (sigh) Oh, Cas.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
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He's a master of distraction, that's for sure. Thanks so much!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] harper47.livejournal.com
date: May. 2nd, 2011 09:43 pm (UTC)
Link

So perfect. So heartbreakingly perfect. Oh God. Thank you for at least giving them this. Wonderful job as always bb.

Scrolls back up and reads again.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:30 pm (UTC)
Link

If this is what I'm doing now, just imagine what kind of tragic-ass fic I'm going to be writing over the next few weeks. D:

I'm glad you enjoyed it, though. <3

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qthelights.livejournal.com

(no subject)

from: [identity profile] qthelights.livejournal.com
date: May. 2nd, 2011 09:45 pm (UTC)
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owwie :(

You always do such a good job of marrying bittersweet pain with something really hot and distracting. Much like your Cas.

Beautiful, bb.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:31 pm (UTC)
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I don't think I can take credit for Cas being bittersweet as well as hot and distracting - but I'm glad you think so! XD

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(no subject) - (Anonymous)

(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC)
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N'awww, thanks, sweetie!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] mulder200.livejournal.com
date: May. 2nd, 2011 10:39 pm (UTC)
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Oh dear! So bittersweet and heartbreaking.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:33 pm (UTC)
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It's because all my fics start off happy and get lost along the way. :P

Thanks for reading!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] pyjamagurl.livejournal.com
date: May. 2nd, 2011 10:51 pm (UTC)
Link

Oh! This is just wonderful. I think it fits perfectly as a coda :)

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:34 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! I expect I'll be writing many more in the coming weeks. :/

I hope they'll be at least a little happy, for all our sakes.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] ilfirin-estel.livejournal.com
date: May. 2nd, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC)
Link

Uh, hi, this has become my head!canon. What a perfect coda.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:34 pm (UTC)
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Why, thank you! I guess it's literally my head!canon as well, so I suppose we're in agreement there. ;)

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] greybhan311.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 12:09 am (UTC)
Link

Oh... Idk if it's just my hormones or something, but I could feel Dean's sense of loss and dread at the end. There might have been some prickling at the backs of my eyes.

Fantastic as always, dear. <3

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
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Heh, I am totally in my hormonal phase right now, too, which is probably why I'm going to bed and dreaming about sad angel sex.

So happy you liked it!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nyoka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 12:14 am (UTC)
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You wrote this for me???!!!! Okay, that just makes me smile so damn big. Thank you so much, bb! This is just a perfect coda; so very perfect. Gorgeous and languid and beautifully described and written, and heartbreaking in light of the heartbreak we know is to come. I love that Dean just can't get himself to ask Cas even though he knows he needs to. The way Castiel overwhelms him emotionally, the way his instinct is to trust him even though he knows deep down the truth, the way Cas just gets to him. Guh.

I just want to read this over and over again (I have read it a few times already, NGL). I don't know how you do it ever time, but the way you write these two just owns me ♥ ♥

Thank you!

Edited 2011-05-03 12:16 am (UTC)

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:38 pm (UTC)
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You absolutely deserved it! I'm thrilled you liked it. <33333

I don't think I can take anymore heartbreak from these two, though. The Kripke better be kind to us in the next few weeks, or someone's gonna get a hurt real bad.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] evil-knitter.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 01:49 am (UTC)
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OMG, this is AMAZING. That last line is perfect and makes the truth really pop.

Also, I super want those kind of dreams!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:39 pm (UTC)
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Haha, they are both a blessing and a curse! I woke up all D: and barely just managed to turn it into something that made a kind of sense. *shrugs*

Thanks so much for reading!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] chicklet25.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 02:03 am (UTC)
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*sob*

*SOB*

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:20 pm (UTC)
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NO CREY, BB!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] reticentric.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 03:15 am (UTC)
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This was so bittersweet yet beautiful. I'd like to think even though Dean got his answer, he'll still wait to react until he knows all the details especially cause it's Cas>.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:19 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I really didn't want to write it in such a way that it couldn't fit in between the two episodes - I still really want to see how they write that confrontation between our boys, without any input from me. Although I'm slightly partial to this method of communication as well. ;)

Thanks muchly for commenting!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] lunasky3.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 04:02 am (UTC)
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Be still my heart.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
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I hear alcohol helps with that. :P

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] kriari.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 04:24 am (UTC)
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♥

I have a kink (if you can call it that) for leaving things unsaid, especially when it concerns these two.

Lovely as always :)

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
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I share this kink, although this season has been taking things a bit too far in the opposite direction until recently. I want them to say more. Preferably naked. Nakedness amplifies the saying of more.

Glad you liked it, bb!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] elvisglasses5.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 06:16 am (UTC)
Link

Meep.

*wobbly chin*

I shall have to read this again on Friday in preparation for being emotionally whumped.

(In other news: 20 MINUTES!?!?! JFC, GURL. I AM AGOG.)

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:16 pm (UTC)
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Meep + *wobbly chin* is my official state for the next few weeks. I CAN'T TAKE IT, SHOW.

In other news, I am equally agog. I guess my brain did the writing while I was passed out, which is... kind of a nice thing for it to do. Thanks, brain. And thank YOU for the lovely comment! <3

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] eternal-moonie.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 11:51 am (UTC)
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I Say AWESOME!!!

Well done!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
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Thank you!!!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] darkestnight01.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 12:40 pm (UTC)
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*wheeps*

Oh Cas

Oh Dean

*wheeps more*

wonderful coda. just as heart breaking as everything right now *wipes tear away*

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry! I'm just taking my cues from Show, and it's been making us hurt so good lately.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] slinkymilinky.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 01:27 pm (UTC)
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ZOMG! you just poured gasoline all over my excitement for Friday. I'm franticly searching for my lighter so I can set myself on fire and BURRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Awesome little coda BB, twas lovely!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
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Man, I am on pins and fuckin' needles for Friday, it's madness. I don't think I've ever been so worked up over a character before, but the not knowing is just KILLING me. No pun intended. NO KILLING, SHOW. I hate that the writers equate drama with death 99% of the time, I just want to know all my boys will be safe.

Thanks so much for reading, though, and I'm thrilled you liked it!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] proxydialogue.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:01 pm (UTC)
Link

Oh Cas. He finally learns the meaning of misdirection and it is only just in time to give our poor Dean a broken heart.

This is so poignant. And gripping. And hard on on a romantic. But I love it.

"Dean takes the long way home," I love this line because it pulls a reader right in, and because it mirrors so well what the whole character arc of Dean in the canon has always told us. Dean always takes the long way to peace, to self-forgiveness, to truth, etc etc.

And now with Cas acting so dodgy...hmmm...maybe Cas learned from Dean and now he's taking the metaphorical long way/hard road/ what have you? (That's part of what I love about this show)

Anyway, lovely story. Engaging writing. So glad I read it.

Thank you for sharing.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 07:13 pm (UTC)
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OMG, so WEIRD - I've been reading a bunch of your fic this afternoon and was about to friend, as I'm trying to get together a couple recs for [livejournal.com profile] rec_hymenated, but apparently everyone else and their dog has beat me to it because you rock.

But, thank you so much! Such a lovely comment, and I'm really happy it spoke to you despite its brevity. I expect to be writing more codas in the next few weeks, since Show has been providing us with all this Cas angst, but hopefully they do his journey justice. And, you know, keep it going far into the future.

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e0wyn

(no subject)

from: [identity profile] e0wyn.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 09:02 pm (UTC)
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Perfect, especially the last paragraph!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 3rd, 2011 09:35 pm (UTC)
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Thanks, m'dear! Usually last lines kill me but this one worked out pretty well. :D

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] deans-gal.livejournal.com
date: May. 4th, 2011 11:16 am (UTC)
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This was so great! Thanks for posting it

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 4th, 2011 07:51 pm (UTC)
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You're most welcome, thank you for reading and commenting! I do appreciate it.

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sometimes you need a story

(no subject)

from: [identity profile] dotfic.livejournal.com
date: May. 4th, 2011 07:24 pm (UTC)
Link

This is gorgeous and painful.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 4th, 2011 07:48 pm (UTC)
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Thank you kindly! I'm gearing up for Friday's angst-fest in a major way.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] blue-fjords.livejournal.com
date: May. 5th, 2011 12:11 am (UTC)
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Damn this ached my heart. What a killer last line!

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 7th, 2011 05:52 pm (UTC)
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Thanks so much! Apparently the key to not fucking up my last lines is to write fic quickly and not give myself time to obsessed. Normally it's like pulling blood from a stone, unless I write something in under an hour. Who knew!

Thanks so much for reading, bb!

(By the way, how'd the cupcakes go?)

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] marourin.livejournal.com
date: May. 5th, 2011 07:36 am (UTC)
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<3 Loved it! I like Cas's manipulative distraction tactic and oh man oh man is it going to hurt when the cat is out of the bag for real. I like how Dean deduces the answer from Cas's reluctance and seriously, I'm anxious for this week's episode.

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(no subject)

from: [identity profile] nanoochka.livejournal.com
date: May. 7th, 2011 05:51 pm (UTC)
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I'm pretty satisfied that this could be bookended by both episodes; normally I'll write (or think of writing) a coda and immediately start cursing its inappropriateness when the following episode airs. So... quite happy, to that end, which is one way of saying, "6.20 still ripped my heart out and ate it messily."

Glad you enjoyed this, though! :D

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